Ep. 38 – Reading Comprehension & SEL Comprehension

(Promised lesson resources from Episode 38 of the Not Your Normal Social Emotional Learning PODCAST are below this introductory text.)

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This might be hard, at first, to believe, but many educators don’t fully understand what kids’ brains need so they can remember and use what they read.  According to Daniel Willingham, a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia who has long studied the best ways to teach reading … fact-based and experience-based knowledge often gets left out of teachers’ reading instruction efforts. Well-intentioned teachers help kids learn to sound out letters, and then form individual words … a process educators refer to as decoding individual words, yet some of those same teachers are baffled by the fact that so many kids have trouble comprehending the full content of what they’ve “decoded.” Willingham contends, and I think this makes perfect sense… that lack of knowledge about the subject about which they’re asked to read is the reason for lack of comprehension during reading exercises… even when they can read individual words in a book or on a work sheet.

In other words… Even though many so-called “poor readers” can sound out words when they see them in print, they often do not comprehend most of what they’re sounding out.  Comprehension, it turns out, is a whole other ‘ball game,’ and it requires at least 2 other layers of enrichment besides the ‘decoding’ skill:   LAYER #1: a Continually expanding vocabulary, which needs to be exercised in their daily lives and interactions, and, equally important …  LAYER #2: factual and experience-based knowledge of the subjects they’re reading about.    In a word: RELEVANCE. In 7 words:  IN WHAT WAYS DOES THIS MATTER TO ME?    In 8 words: How does this show up in my life?   Here’s an extreme example, just to make the point:  Reading a book about a game that kids have played and enjoyed is going to gain a lot more ‘traction,’ in other words achieve a lot more ‘comprehension,’ than a book about scientific theories, because #1, the kids won’t have the necessary vocabulary to bring out the meaning of the combined words and sentences, and #2 the kids won’t have any lived experiences to relate to the combined words and sentences.


So what does this have to do with students’ social, emotional and life skills learning?  Well, most of us agree that for general well being and success, kids need to grow in openness to others’ perspectives (a close ‘cousin’ of empathy).  They also need to increase their capacity and willingness to be personally accountable and take responsibility.  They need to notice and be able to read social clues.  They need to be aware of and appropriately express their own feelings.  They need to engage in mutually respectful relationships, and on and on … and on …  

Those are mighty big concepts and simply discussing them, or reading stories about them, or having a lesson or 2 or 3 that illustrate those concepts in action has not been shown to create deep or long lasting impacts on children’s behaviors … BUT … there is a way to enliven RELEVANCE, which creates ENGAGEMENT, which has been shown to INCREASE retention and carry over influence, (often referred to as transfer of learning). I’m talking about carefully and respectfully designed peer group discussions, which are structured around wide ranging, not-so-predictable, but topic-related questions.  Questions to which students in the group will not necessarily have the same answers, but questions to which most of students will have answers that the other students will be interested in, which works to everyone’s advantage.  How?  

When kids collaboratively answer and discuss questions, based on their own knowledge, understanding and life experiences, they gain the benefit of self-expression, of course,  That process of self-expression also establishes ownership of what they know, which they and everyone in the peer group discussion observes and shares, for present and future reference, in the classroom and on the playground… with more and more independence and self-sufficiency.

When we want kids to grow their comprehension, in other words, their understanding about, and ownership of: •beneficial ideas, •feelings, •behaviors, •responses and •interactions… we have to do less talking while enabling (and empowering) the kids do more talking, in situations that naturally get other kids to listening, learning and sharing.  


Ready for a practical example?  

Perhaps you have some kids in your class who are whispering in front of other kids, and feelings are getting hurt.  You’ve tried lectures, you’ve tried reading books with stories about hurt feelings, and all of that has value, none of it is wasted or wrong, but… for all of that positive guidance and information to get “owned” by the kids, so they actually act on what they know, long term … for everyone’s sake, including your own … a different approach – one that increases kids’ vocabulary and relates to their experiential knowledge needs to be activated and anchored.

The thing is:  whispering covers a      w i d e     range of interactions between people… and so one important key to success will be to expand the kids’ spoken and  visual vocabulary around words and actions associated with WHISPERING.   

Below you will see pictures of all kinds of whispering interactions, with accompanying questions that invite students to discuss what they see in each picture. For instance, you’ll see kids whispering in class.  You’ll see one child whispering a secret to Santa.  You’ll see a few kids giggling and whispering, and you’ll see a picture of kids whispering while one person is excluded… in other words, the full gamut… not just the single kind of whispering that causes hurt feelings.  Conducting a peer group discussion that includes this much relevant variety is extremely beneficial for increasing students’ comprehension … see what you think. And if you try showing these pictures (or others you find on the internet), I would love to hear how it goes for you. Also, if you have any questions or problems, please let me know – I would love to help you through to your most satisfying experience with these resources. Really.

Notice that the pictures and questions do not focus immediately on solving the problem of hurtful whispering.

That is not the way to bring kids into a discussion, in order to increase, expand and deepen their comprehension.  BUT the right kinds of questions ARE the way, and the right kinds of questions are  OPEN-ENDED.  Open-ended questions that introduce relevant new vocabulary, and that do NOT overtly point to the behavior problems that are causing problems are your key to success.  We CAN trust kids to resolve their own problems and challenges, on their own, by gaining new comprehension about the effects of different behaviors on different people, through well-structured, peer group discussions.

Because well structured peer group discussions provide opportunities to all the individual kids in the group to answer questions, each from their own individual perspective … which will be engaging and interesting to all the students because the subject matter relates deeply and broadly to their personal experiences. The open-ended questions gently invite students to look at familiar situations from different perspectives – based on their own experiences and incorporating their expanded vocabulary  –  which enables them to integrate their classmates’ perspectives with their own perspectives, in a completely unforced way, so the learning is real, and really gets used in the kids’ real life interactions.


Relating all this back to reading,  when kids are tested on reading comprehension as a separate skill, divorced from any subject with which they’re personally familiar, they’re at an unfair disadvantage. On the other hand, kids who come to school with more prior knowledge  are at an unfair ADVANTAGE — and we all know that those are often the wealthier kids.  But it does NOT have to be that way.  

Why?  Because kids learn from other kids …. ORGANICALLY… and we, as their educators, are in prime positions to create the most constructive learning environments for EVERY student’s social, emotional and life skills development when we create opportunities that align with how every student’s brain acquires knowledge – – – naturally.  


Below are the visuals and open-ended questions for a peer group discussion that will get kids more mindful about all kinds of whispering and the effects of different kinds of whispering:

Whispering
Whispering amongst friends.
  1. Where do you think these kids might be? 
  2. What do you think is happening in this picture? 
  3. Why do you suppose people have two ears instead of just one? (PEOPLE NEED TWO EARS TO BE ABLE TO KNOW WHERE DIFFERENT SOUNDS ARE COMING FROM. When people can only hear out of one ear, they can’t tell where sounds are coming from. Do any of you know someone who can only hear with one ear?)
  4. What do you suppose it’s like for this boy when these two girls are whispering into each of his ears? What if they’re whispering different things? What would that be like for him?

Whispering in the theater
Whispering to not disturb others
  1. Where are these people? Why are they whispering?
  2. Who knows what ‘demonstrate’ means?
  3. Who would like to *demonstrate what whispering sounds like for our whole group? 
  4. How far away do you think one person can hear another person who is whispering? Shall we do an experiment to see how far we can hear whispers?
  • Ask for a volunteer. Whisper in the volunteer’s ear, while sitting or standing very close to the other kids...then test at further and further distances ’til your words can’t be heard … or make up your own experiment and demonstration to engage different volunteers and the group.

COULD ANY OF YOU HEAR THAT?  WHY or WHY NOT?


Whispering can be hurtful
Hurt feelings happen when people feel left out.
  1. How many kids do you see in this picture?
  2. Is the girl who is alone close enough to hear what the other girls are saying? Why do you think that? 
  3. If the girl who is alone can not hear what the other girls are saying, do you think she can guess what they’re whispering about? What do you think they’re whispering about? 
  4. Who thinks we can guess a lot about what other people say, or how they’re feeling, even though they don’t tell us, or we can’t hear them? Why do you think that? Shall we test your theory?  
  5. Ask if anyone would like to volunteer demonstrating body language. Once you’ve chosen a few volunteers to take turns demonstrating different forms of body language, whisper:
  • Feeling afraid
  • Feeling stubborn
  • Feeling bored    (If there was more than one volunteer, thank the first child, then ask for another volunteer to provide a few more demonstrations)
  • Feeling sleepy
  • Feeling curious
  • Feeling shy

Whispering a secret.
  1. Who knows what a secret is?
  2. Why do you think people have secrets?
  3. Did anyone ever tell you a secret? What was that like? How did that make you feel? Did you keep that secret after your friend told it to you?

Whispering in front of others
Whispering can hurt feelings of other people.
  1. How does the girl who is standing by herself feel?  Do her feelings matter?  Why do you think that?  What do you think the girl who is by herself will do next?    (Thinking Forward in Time)
  2. Sometimes, people hurt other people’s feelings. Why do you think they do that? (Perspective Taking)
  3. Do other people’s feelings matter? Can you tell us more about why you think that?  (Perspective Taking)
  4. Do your feelings matter? Why is that your answer?  (Recalling Personal Experience)
  5. If those 2 girls who are whispering wanted to share a secret, but didn’t want to hurt that other girl’s feelings, what do you think they could do differently?  (Creative Options

Whispering secret wishes to Santa
Whispering secret wishes to Santa
  1. Who do you see in this picture?  What’s happening?  What do you think will happen after this?

Return to the PODCAST.

Build Healthy BELONGING

Healthy belonging is a necessary growth factor.

Belonging.  It’s a feeling… a feeling that has a powerful influence on everyone’s life.  We all know when we feel that we belong, and we all know when we don’t feel that we belong. (And “all” definitely includes young children.)

That feeling of belonging is one of the most fundamental needs that subtly, but powerfully, influences all of us … and it has always influenced us, pretty much from Day 1 of our lives. 

Healthy belonging must be nurtured.
BELONGING is a deep-rooted need that must be developed in healthy ways starting at the youngest ages.

 

The instinct to belong is as natural as breathing.  What we want and need to belong to can and does differ widely as we grow, which is a good thing and makes a lot of sense – right?!    But …

… as young ones, just starting out in the new adventures of preschool, kindergarten and first grade, discovering shared values, feelings and instincts with classmates and peers is a powerful approach to building the healthiest kind of belonging. The kind of belonging that – very long term – can help to neutralize feelings of isolation that, research has shown, are one of the deep-rooted influences that, so heartbreakingly, result – later on – in school shootings and student suicides.    

Healthy belonging can help to neutralize the negative effects of isolation.
Building healthy BELONGING is one very positive way to reduce the isolation that research confirms is part of the cause of school shooters’ motivations.

What kinds of values, feelings and instincts can young children discover that they share, so that ‘belonging’ is naturally built within the day-to-day dynamics of their class?   

Here’s the answer to that question, and it’s an answer that can enrich every teachers’ class management … making class management much, much easier:  Present groups of kids with appropriately challenging questions that evoke, that draw upon kids’ own hard-wired •empathy, kids’ own •ability to distinguish what’s fair and what’s not, and kids’ natural •instinct to ‘tell it like it is.’

When young children are provided with multiple opportunities to collaboratively discover solutions to challenges with which they’re all familiar, during times in which none of them (this is important, of course) … none of them is ever made to feel defensive – even when those familiar challenges are extremely, even exhaustingly, familiar … When young children are provided with multiple opportunities to collaboratively discover solutions they respond with solutions that invariably surprise and delight teachers. 

Healthy shared experiences build healthy belonging.
Recent brain imaging research shows that when humane instincts are activated and engaged, all associated areas of the brain connect and, with enough consistent repetition, become integrated.

Recent brain imaging research has demonstrated that when the brain contemplates and combines distinct pieces of information – for example: the ‘what, where, when, why and how’ of specific events, different areas of the brain are activated and connect. When different sensibilities and humane instincts are also activated and engaged within those same exercises, all of those areas of the brain connect and, with enough consistent repetition, become integrated. When that kind of healthy, creative and constructive brain activity is shared amongst peers, is it so difficult to appreciate how much more effective at building belonging that is as compared to passive or rote learning experiences?

When groups of children have consistent opportunities to analyze familiar challenges and problems, through a series of respectful and open-ended questions  (yes … truly open-ended questions), they readily stay engaged and interested into the next level of open-ended questions (and again emphasizing: open-ended questions) that invite them to share ideas about possible solutions. 

Typically, a class full of young children ,during these shared opportunities, is a class full of raised hands with answers and solutions that make sense to everyone.  What’s incredibly sweet to experience, as a teacher, is that the kids who have some personal familiarity with a specific challenge or problem (you know, the kids who push, who rarely share, kids who constantly use their outside voices inside, or … you name it)  … those kids actually listen and really take in their classmates’ answers and solutions.  Because, for one reason, they’re not being TALKED TO, so they remain receptive, and for another reason, it’s their peers who are talking – which is much more interesting and relatable than grown-up’s lectures and instructions. Duh.

Back to the concept of building belonging, and I’ll repeat that I’m referring to healthy belonging.  When healthy belonging is prioritized and creatively activated as the binding and strengthening influence for everything else that needs to happen in the classroom, everyone wins – including you, of course … short term, long term and even onto very long term. 

Short term belonging happens within circle time shared discovery opportunities, with kids’ genuine engagement and collaborative contributions. Long term belonging shows up when kids bring their own collaborative solutions onto the playground, into the lunch room and into different learning activities of your classroom.  Very long term belonging is what grows and takes roots over time, because that healthy belonging had a chance to get started as a formative and foundational  influence from kids’ earliest ages.

Healthy belonging requires deep roots.
Deep roots of healthy belonging need to be nurtured from the earliest school experiences.

Obviously, we shouldn’t expect significant results to stick with the snap of our fingers, or with one or two shared thinking circle times – but results do stick when young kids are consistently provided with opportunities to engage in this truly important and mutually respectful way.

The rightness of this kind of approach is validated by kids’ constructive engagement … aaaand by how much you get to learn about, and with, your young students.

Yes, there’s a learning curve – but it’s not steep, and if you’d like some support, please let us know.  That’s WHY we’re here… for you, for your students.

Listen to the podcast (EPISODE 14) of this blog on iTunes, with this link:   https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/not-your-normal-social-emotional-learning

MYTH # 2  about SEL:  Children pay too much attention to each other and not enough attention to teachers.

WELL, yes, that can be a problem, but with a gentle mindset adjustment the fact that kids pay so much attention to each other can turn into a powerful teaching aid that works to everyone’s benefit… yours and theirs.

 

Children’s early education is enriched by playing together with classmates. Each conversation, whether talking about the class pet or deciding which color block to put on top of the tower they’re building together, or who gets to be IT when they’re playing Hide N Seek helps children develop their thoughts, their language, their sense of themselves and how to best connect with others. This is a deeply important dimension of young kids’ development, and interacting with peers, with classmates, is really the only way those discoveries can be made. I mean, right?  HOW ELSE CAN IT HAPPEN?

Children, like all of us – as scientific research reveals – want and need to BELONG. As educators, we have a profound responsibility to nurture healthy belonging amongst our students. The kind of belonging that builds on the best, on the healthiest, on the most positive and most constructive of children’s shared values and perspectives.  This is not going to happen with lectures.            This is going to happen by creating consistent opportunities for kids to DISCOVER TOGETHER how much they have in common, in terms of their own honest feelings, understanding, values, and insights.

Sounds good, right?  Next question: How to make that happen?  Good question… in fact, questions are so often the answer, IF they’re the right kinds of questions, and IF they’re asked with the right mindset, within the right context.  We’ll get into all those IF’s in future podcasts, but for now, the ‘the right context’ is groups of kids pondering their answers, and responding to those right kinds of questions TOGETHER.  Gotta love those CIRCLE TIMES, eh?!!!

It’s easier than it sounds … and the healthy belonging that can be nurtured is everyone’s reward.   

On a more serious note, if healthy belonging is not nurtured in the earliest years of children’s development, is it such a mystery that feelings of isolation (not belonging), when ignored, devolve into the kind of mental torment that motivates some kids to use guns against their fellow students and against their teachers?   This is an issue we need to reverse-engineer, starting with our youngest students.

By ages 3 and 4 children are starting to identify and verbalize an ever-widening range of emotions…. By ages 5 and 6 they are, we know only too well, testing boundaries, yet they are still quite eager to please and to help out.  The commonality of the healthiest of their natural tendencies can be made more conscious amongst your group of students for everyone’s benefit, as I’ve mentioned before. 

For now, we just wanted to smash that myth that children pay too much attention to each other and not enough attention to teachers.   You CAN stop resisting that fact of life and make friends with it for the happiest and healthiest of Win-Win’s in your classroom. 

If you’re enjoying this blog, why not subscribe, then you’ll automatically receive the next Myth about Social Emotional Learning, which is:    Teachers need to be in control of children’s understanding about right and wrong.     Wouldn’t you love to see how that myth, too, can be blasted for everyone’s benefit?   Of course, and heck yes, right?  Who wouldn’t prefer to teach smarter, rather than harder?    Subscribing is super easy, so is sharing this blog with fellow teachers.  

Guns Are the Voice of Anger, Repression and Isolation

Rejection? Depression? Envy? Shame? Disrespected?

Parkland’s shooting is the most recent reminder that we have a chronic anger problem in our country.

Anger, aided by guns, kills students and teachers in Florida.
More victims of the anger that compels violent acts against others.

Enacting sensible gun laws will be a necessary and constructive step forward for our country, but we can do more … much more.  

We want to blame the NRA and the politicians for defending what, in our minds and hearts, is indefensible.  If only legislators would pass more sensible gun laws, we want to believe that the curse of ongoing atrocities would be lifted from our country; but more is needed … much more.

Time to process

First, we need time to process the crushing incomprehensibility of yet another act of violence.  One of the most difficult pieces of ‘processing’ is forgiveness.  Scarlett Lewis, the mother of 6-year old Jesse Lewis (shot down in the Sandy Hook tragedy),  is a living example of forgiveness in action. Her message is healing and deeply important.

Without accepting the challenge of forgiveness, how can we expect life to move forward and build better tomorrows?  Watch Brené Brown’s short  explanation about the essential, yet not-so-obvious elements of true, life altering forgiveness.

Is understanding possible, or even necessary?

Is it even possible to understand the toxic mix of emotions that sometimes transform into anger … which, over time, transforms into murderous rage?   Understanding might be too much of a stretch for most of us, but that doesn’t excuse us from acknowledging  – and constructively responding to – difficult truths.

Unprocessed experiences and emotions

Mental health issues as a ‘go-to’ answer dooms us to loose and sloppy responses.  “Framing the conversation about gun violence in the context of mental illness does a disservice both to the victims of violence and unfairly stigmatizes the many others with mental illness,” says American Psychological Association President Jessica Henderson Daniel, and “… it does not direct us to appropriate solutions to this public health crisis.”

Acknowledging the role of shooters’ unprocessed experiences and emotions is a first step towards neutralizing the root causes of their explosive violence.

Disconnected individuals are dis-empowered individuals who sometimes make tragic decisions.
Guns are sometimes the tragic ‘delivery systems’ of unprocessed negative emotions.

“… he’s going to explode.”

Sheriff’s offices got at least 18 calls about the Parkland shooter over the past decade. Those calls described guns in his possession, threats and violence.  It got so bad that some teachers even went so far as to ban him from their classrooms. “Looking in his eyes, he just looked like there was a problem,” one teacher told The Washington Post.  Children need opportunities for collaborative problems solving rather than punishments or lectures.

Developmental delays are not meaningfully corrected with punishments. Expulsion, rejection, and exclusion do not help. Those responses from teachers and classmates only exacerbate problems – as we have witnessed too many times.

There are, though, constructively pre-emptive approaches, available for K-12 students that have been shown to ease the isolation, frustration and dis-empowerment resulting from warped perspectives on reality. When groups of young students consistently exercise, together, their innate reasoning  and perspective-taking skills while focusing on age-appropriate challenges, unimagined (yet hoped for) alignments and connections develop.

The TOGETHER element is essential. Absolutely essential.

Collaborative problem-solving experiences, when age-appropriately relevant, (without intrusive, judgmental, or lecture-y comments from adults) does more to ‘build belonging’ than any structured curriculum ever could.  Why?  Because, as Dr. Lilian Katz’ research has documented:

“The younger children are, the more they learn from interactive experiences, rather than passive experiences.”

Solving age-appropriate challenges in collaboration with peers builds belonging by building mutual-respect along with self respect… experiences, we can all agree, are totally lacking in school shooters’ lives.


The younger children are, the more they learn from INTERACTIVE EXPERIENCES, rather than passive experiences.
Early education must prioritize helping young children to make better, fuller, deeper and more accurate sense of their own experiences.

“Children who are generally disliked, who are aggressive and disruptive, who are unable to sustain close relationships with other children, and who cannot establish for themselves a place in the peer culture are seriously at-risk for the rest of their lives. The elements of social competence are not usually learned through instruction, or lessons, or lecturing, or preaching.

“Scolding or preaching about being ‘nice’ is the wrong content for relationships between adults and children.”                       

~ Dr. Lilian Katz


We must empower students to collaboratively solve problems and challenges.
When the natural and healthy instinct to solve challenges is consistently interrupted with lectures and pre-packaged answers, frustration mounts.

Even very young children resist being told what to do, how to think, and how to behave all of the time. Children are, though, completely open to, and interested in, collaborative problem solving around challenges that matter to their own well-being.  It is an instinctive/primitive approach to real learning which, by the way, is conclusively validated by contemporary brain science.  Putting into action, which includes giving personal voice to, personal understanding is one of the most efficient approaches to building real understanding that is really used.

Neuronal connections that can save lives

Amygdalae, small almond-shaped areas of the brain, located deep within the limbic system, receive all incoming signals from the environment in about 20 milliseconds. The pre-frontal cortex, where logic and self-regulation reside, receive those same signals about 280 milliseconds after the amygdalae… putting the pre-frontal cortex at a serious disadvantage for responding in the most well-reasoned and appropriate ways.

A physiological explanation for emotional responses hijacking reasoned responses.
The emotional response area of the brain (limbic system / amygdala) receives incoming signals 10 x sooner than the rational area of the brain (pre-frontal cortex).

The result, when mindfulness practices and shared-thinking opportunities are experienced on a regular basis: walls of separation and isolation are dismantled,  while connections between students’ prefrontal cortex (executive functioning) and amygdala are strengthened – due to an increase of gamma-Aminobutyric acid (GABA), the calming neurotransmitter. Emotions are still felt, but they no longer have the power to consume, because neuronal connections to constructive options have been physically built up in the ‘hard-wiring’ of the brain … something lectures are incapable of accomplishing.

“Neuroscience tells us that positive emotions are generated in the brain when students develop their own ideas.”      – Prof. James Zull

Real solutions exist, AND THEY NEED TO BE IMPLEMENTED NOW!

The feeling of belonging cannot be taught, but it CAN and must be experienced.
Young students need to directly experience being acknowledged and feeling that they belong.

Young students need to directly experience feeling included, feeling that they belong … and we need to accept our responsibility to consistently provide those types of nurturing experiences in order to neutralize the toxic build-up of anger that is so impossibly, heartbreakingly destructive.

4-Year Olds Are Ready for SOCIAL – EMOTIONAL LEARNING

Social-Emotional Learning for 4 Year Olds Does Not Have to be Hard!
Shared-Thinking Circle Times for 4-year old’s Social-Emotional Learning
By the age of 4, kids are ready to share with peers, in circle time, how much they know and how self-sufficiently they can choose behaviors that work best for everyone!  They just need (and want) to be respectfully and appropriately challenged!
Kids also want and need to be acknowledged for what they understand, what they perceive as real, true and valid … and they need to express what they understand with their own words … with a group of peers … in neutral shared-thinking class time opportunities – facilitated by adults who, just during these times, do not have the intention to be teaching, but instead have the intention to give all of their attention.
Young Children Have a Natural Need for Quality Attention
How many times have you read or heard about children ‘just behaving this way or that for attention?’ As if their efforts to gain your attention were a negative. Turns out that the more we learn about all the elements of healthy early childhood development, the more we come to appreciate the value of honoring children’s basic instincts, such as their natural need for quality attention.
Validating Proof from History and Human Biology
After World War II, orphans living in a clean, hygienic and basically attentive facility did not thrive. In fact, almost half of infants died, despite apparently having all basic needs met. It turned out that the infants needed at least one meaningful relationship with a caring, and involved adult in order to survive, grow and thrive. Since then, we have learned that Human Growth Hormone (HGH) is released in a manner directly proportional to the amount of caring attention children receive.
Quality of Teacher’s Attention Matters
It is now clearly understood that the quality of the attention children receive from their educators more often than not gives rise to repeated behaviors, as compared to ignored or unnoticed behaviors.  Sooooo … if we are giving our attention – yes, just simply our undivided attention – when kids are thinking together about positive and constructive solutions and outcomes to which they can all relate, surely it should come as no surprise that those solutions rapidly translate into behaviors by the children who – in constructive collaboration – gave voice to those solutions.

Constructive collaboration opportunities prepare children for future successes.
Young children welcome constructive collaboration opportunities.

Challenging Behaviors in Early Childhood Environments

Challenging behaviors are readily adjusted when kids have opportunities to think together.

Young children, even by age 4, generally have strong reactions to always being told what to do … especially when it comes to their feelings and their interactions with others. Their strong reactions often show up as challenging behavior, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It really doesn’t.

From Challenging to Cooperating

The key to successfully creating more cooperation in early childhood environments is to provide young learners with multiple opportunities to discover how much they have in common with peers. This very practical approach is NOT achieved with lectures, books or videos … at least not nearly as effectively as it is achieved with peer group discussions.

We were never blank slates!

"The mind at birth is a blank slate." NOT !!!
According to the old-fashioned way of thinking, children need to be taught EVERYTHING, because they’re ‘blank slates’ at birth.

When children are treated as blank slates, most of them automatically resist.  It’s almost as if they’re wired to resist … but is that such a terrible thing?  Well, sure, it can be, when resistance turns into challenging behavior. But resistance can be interpreted as a signal that children have a solid sense of who they are and how “things” should be. Rather than treating children like blank slates who need to be taught everything, especially when it comes to their behavior, wise educators use relevant peer group discussions as one powerful key to successful turnarounds in their students’ behavior.

Five easy keys to designing successful peer group discussions
  1. Make sure discussions never, ever isolate or point to specific individuals.
  2. Use visual examples of the topic around which you want your students to discover solutions, (Google IMAGES is a great resource for pictures of: pushing, not sharing, pulling cat’s tail, street safety issues, whispering in front of others etc., etc.) but …
  3. … do NOT start discussions about specific behaviors – even though you’re showing a picture of that behavior.  Instead, start discussion with broad where, what, who or how’s the kids will easily succeed at identifying and describing. (Neutral successes are important at this point.)
  4. After a few of those kinds of questions, then everyone is ready to “unpack” what’s going on in the picture you’ve shown them… just be sure the questions are open-ended and non-leading!  If ever the questions you ask are not open-ended, then be quick to follow with, “Why is that your answer?” or “Will you tell us why you think that?”
  5. Paraphrase kids’ answers. Of course, that doesn’t mean ‘parrot’ their answers. It means saying, in your own words, what you think each child said for the purpose of making sure you really understood. (Other benefits of this 5th key: Fully acknowledges each student’s contribution to the discussion.  Keeps you really, reeeeeally listening. Because they’ll be especially interested in how you paraphrase their thoughts, when you add vocabulary-enriching synonyms for their most commonly used words they’ll be paying LOTS of attention.)

Challenging behaviors are readily adjusted when kids have opportunities to think together.
Young children are surprisingly capable of adjusting their own behavior once we STOP telling them what to do …

We all want to belong, and – actually – we all pretty much do… we just need to discover that fact together.

When you get right down to it, we all have a lot more in common than we have differences that separate us. For instance, none of us likes to be interrupted or pushed. None of us really likes to fight or interact with people who don’t consider fairness a value to live by… but …

… trying to reasonably and logically explain that to young kids, who function mostly out of the emotional part of their brains, is rarely – if ever – productive.

The good news is: getting groups of kids engaged in discussions around subjects that really matter to them, with questions that communicate respect for their intelligence and collaborative problem solving abilities …. well, that’s a horse of a different color !!!